the moment i found my mother

Hop to Stop

I know you are expecting to see a card, but I really wanted to close of this hop with something inspiring and heartfelt. So a journal page it is!

 Domestic Violence doesn't only affect you and your intermediate family in the home, It affects everyone around you. I would like you to meet my heart, my pride, m joy and my inspiration. This is my mother. Her name is Karen. She was born in 1957. She was in and out of DV stepfather relationships including that of a mother who was held at gun point. She had four or five stepfathers and at least two of them were violent with her and her sisters and brothers.

 She was then later forced out of her home at 17 to either marry her boyfriend or go to juvenille hall, not because she was trouble but because she wasnt wanted in her home anymore. She married a man that she had been dating awhile and he also turned out to be controlling and dangerous. She adventually new she wasn't strong enough to fight this battle alone. She reached out to the wonderful friends she had and adventually she meet my dad, he helped her move out and get a divorce. It wasn't

 perfect or ideal but she was safe. They were in there early twenties. My parents remained married until death. They didn't have a perfect relationship by any means but they loved each other and they loved us. You see they had twins within the first year of marriage.

 Adventually we grew up and moved out, I met a man and we also adventually got married. He was sweet charming and then  the day came, he was violent. Severally violent. I was so afraid of him but lost. I lived by my parents but I couldn't get the help I needed to get out because they were both ill.

 I spent years hiding it and never tell anyone, hiding in my house for weeks at a time so no one would see my face before it healed just to turn around and do it again. Then one day my paernts became homeless and I had no choice but to allow them to move in with me, in hopes that he would at least behave with them there. That didn't last long... It was only a matter of days before he was back at it. He even punched my dad in the face but my dad was so scared he didnt do anything. He is very non confrontational. So over time, my mother got sicker and remembered less. She started to see weird people and talked in the third person a lot. It was affecting her already ill mind and causing it to get worse. She forgot who I was most the time and locked herself in her room. I would have to take the door off to get her out. My dad was at the time a full blown alcholic. He was loving but had demons of his own to overcome.

 On day they told me they were going california and I said okay. I was moving away from him that day and got my own apartment. They came to say goodbye, they walked in to Him chocking me on the couch half way in the door way. my dad and mom ran, they were so afraid they called the cops at the neighbors and left. I didn't see them again. I was completely abandoned and alone with four toddlers.

 two years went by  and i finaly got away. I moved to washington from florida by the grace of God. I left with 300 dollars and I never looked back. I never begged or even showed anyone that I was afraid or lost. I just walked in places like gas stations and the person at the counter said, hey our pastor just came in and decided to pay for your gas and get you some food??? It was so crazy and so powerful. I was being reminded the whole trip I wasnt really alone.
I made it there in 14 days.

 Sooner or later I started to try and find my parents not knowing anything about there where abouts. I met my husband know in the middle of that time and he helped me find my mom. I found her in a horrible state care were she was being neglected on every level. I flew immediately to florida where I found her and picked her up. I had to carry her on every flight. A six foot tall women and she was unable to walk anymore. She yelled my name when she saw me, that meant the world to me. she didn't remember me again after that day.

She is still alive to this day. I take care of her and my husband is the best man she could have ever had in her life, other then my dad. He loves her and she lights up every time he walks in the room. She know has spent seven years with us and watching life unfold in a good way. We pray with her and love her. She laughs and cries but doesn't know our names. She has had this happen to her because of tramatic experiences. PTSD can cause deadly illnesses and loss of memory,a way for the body to forget and protect itself from harm.
 I wish I could take it all back and have just one moment with her, doing crafts, she was an incredible artist and friend. A trip to the coffee shop though she hated coffee!!!! Shopping and a good laugh!

You see all people are affected by DV. It hurts everyone for generations to come. My other grandmother on my fathers side lost her mother IN HER EARLY TWENTIES TOO. She was murdered by her husband. He also killed himself.I cant tell you more because I don't know. It has never been disguised by anyone, I found the info online this year. I have never had any family past my grandparents on both sides. I had a empty family tree in school and couldn't even explain it.  I have no family and my father has been gone for five months from depression something that plagued him for many years. It follows down the line and will continue to do so until we put a stop to it.
Never judge a book by its cover, you have no ideal what it entails on the inside.

I was one of the lucky ones, I found my Mom and my Dad, I toke care of them both in the end and showed them love. I found my best friend who has loved them and me and my beautiful girls unconditionally without judgement or conditions. I am safe and I get to spend my life helping others, following Gods plan for me. Many others aren't so lucky. They never make it out and they never see love or enjoy there life. I want to continue to help as long as I can and follow Gods plan to help others and to be there as a shoulder to lean on for anyone that crosses my path. To show the the fathers love and to help them see there is Hope and there is a chance that life will move on from the past. For people like my parents that moment never came and though I will never understand it, I will move on and show Love and kindness no judgement, to every person I meet. You dont every know what battle they are defeating.